One morning, I woke up to a screaming child because her 2 year old brother hit her, another child yelling for me to wipe her on the potty, and the other spilling milk all over the table in an effort to make her own breakfast. A feeling of dread swept over my body as I thought to myself, “Here we go again.” Many parents can relate to feeling “trapped in our homes” or “a slave to my children” during this pandemic.

Our family had just moved to Singapore in January, with 4 small children. In the midst of juggling the transition for the family, something simple like a playground was a source of relief for our kids, as we clung to a sense of normalcy in this new place. Despite knowing the Circuit Breaker was for the greater good, life was still challenging being confined to our homes and away from new friends just made. The Circuit Breaker was squeezing all the ugly juices out of us, often on our own kids and each other. Guilt was a familiar feeling, knowing there were so many people out there in truly dire situations.

One day, listening to the book of Revelation on audio while cooking dinner, “the call for the endurance of the saints” in Revelation 14:12 and repeated calls to repentance would not leave my mind. It brought both a peace and an urgency to my heart. Endurance training takes place when it’s hard to endure. I took a brutally honest look at my heart and my home. Our days had become a scurry to our misplaced finish line of “bedtime” with me just barking orders along the way. I justified my bad behavior instead of repenting and receiving the abundant grace to take hold of this time as a gift. The home is one of the most powerful influences in a person’s life, now much more than ever. I repented of home being an afterthought, rather than holy and beautiful, and for seeing my children as people to tolerate/appease while I try to get things done.

God was granting us time to cultivate our home: a place where the daily grind is building habits and hearts of gratitude, where meals are a place of conversation and thankfulness, reflecting and marveling on what God had done that day; a place of generosity and prayer for those in need around us, a training ground to love my children into enduring lovers of God, not just through example but intentional connection and action every single day. It is through these little people that God is planning to glorify himself. God refocused my eyes onto His finish line, not just in my mind, but in my heart.

We fight a new fight. A fight to not just survive, but thrive, to have a home that takes every “interruption” as an invitation from the Lord to enter into his strength and grace, and a home that looks like Him!