This is my story, from a broken and lost person to a child of God, fully known and loved perfectly by the Father. A journey of restoration by the love and mercy of God.
I was born into a missional family, as my grandparents and parents are missionaries. When I was 7, my parents committed to full-time missions in China. It was a big change for my family as we had to pack up and move. My sister and I were sent to Australia for studies, and I lived away from my parents for 19 years.
During those years, as I look back, the emptiness which came from not having the much needed people in my life drove me to the world and I found acceptance there. As such, I detached myself from God and the church, making my own decisions, in terms of relationships and how to live – choosing drugs, money, acceptance, status, riches of the world. One thing led to another, and I went deeper into darkness as I was immersed in drug addiction.
When I was 27 years old, I hit rock bottom. There was no one to turn to, but I remembered that I had loving parents. They were still praying and waiting for me to turn back to God. At that time, they sent me a one way ticket to China, and invited me to stay with them. That was my first encounter with unconditional love, where my parents gave me a second chance. However, that did not bring me back to God. Soon after touching down in China, I fell back into my old habits. It was 3 years of throwing my life away, and I had no excuse as my parents were there with me.
I had tried to get back on my feet time after time, but failed countlessly. Even though my parents were present and loved me, I now realise that their love could not bring me back, only God could. As I look back, I realised that God was already healing me while I was still addicted and involved in the same things. Through my parents, I see that God was beginning the softening process. Without me knowing, He was working in me. When I was 30 I really wanted to turn around, and things started to change....
I was recommended to go to a DTS to turn my life around, but I didn’t want to do a Christian programme. I was looking for rehabilitation and just wanted to get away. So I only went for it because it was in Hawaii. During the first week, the topic was “Hearing God’s voice” while I still had a craving for old habits. The speaker said “If you have unconfessed sins in your life, God isn’t going to answer your prayers.” So I prayed out of desperation, “God if You can’t turn me around right now, I really have no hope.” At that moment, I did not feel anything different. But when I woke up the next morning, I felt different as my physical body felt brand new and all my cravings were gone and never came back. I knew I was healed by the love of God. I realised that God is real and gave my life to Him.
My spiritual parents played a huge role in my restorative journey. They had faith in me, even when I did not believe in myself and considered me as their son. They told me “there’s nothing wrong with you, we believe in you and we love you. We believe everything that God has placed in you, will place in you and will do through you.” Through that, it hit me that God did not see anything wrong with me, and was giving me the full confidence and assurance that I’m His child.
It has been 8 years since I’ve been born again, and my real life began when I met the Lord. I am still a baby, broken and still trying to find my way in the Lord, but with a renewed mind and restored body. And God has been a father to me, constantly there with his arms open towards me. It has been a revelation that there is nothing else except God and His unconditional love that could bring someone out of the pits of hell!